- Emotional Health -
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Stress & Strains
For most of us, stress is part of our daily routine. We think of it as being too many unpleasant events happening at the same time, disagreements with others, loud noises, not being able to find things, to name a few.
Sudden and serious events, as well as new stages in life like childbirth, retirement or marriage can also cause stress. Sometimes the activities we enjoy can be as stressful as those we dislike.
In fact stress is a person’s reaction to these events. Our mind creates stress - we can choose to over-react, or we can choose to take things in stride. Changing a stressful situation can be difficult. But rather than feeling hopeless, let’s start by looking closely at your life.
What are your Stress Triggers?
| Event | Degree of
Stress caused by event |
||
No stress |
Some stress |
Extreme stress |
|
| 1. Your health | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 2. Health of a family member | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 3. Your medical care | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 4. Financial responsibilities | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 5. Legal matters | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 6. An argument with your spouse or boss | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 7. Marital problems | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 8. Demands of family | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 9. Addictions | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 10. Your physical abilities | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 11. Sexual difficulties | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 12. Change in sleeping habits | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 13. Change in routine | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 14. Concerns about your weight | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 15. Too many things to do | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 16. Amount of free time | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 17. Social commitments | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 18. Doing things you dislike | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 19. News events | 1 | 2 | 3 |
Look at those items you scored as a 2 or 3, and ask yourself:
What areas of your life are causing the most stress?
When Stress becomes Dis-Stress!
When
stress builds up we can feel increased tension, anxiety, anger, or depression
as well as physical ailments.
Learn to recognize stress overload by some of these warning signs:
Concentration
problems
- Moodiness, irritability
- Increased arguments
- Sleep problems
- Appetite change: weight gain or loss
- Pain, headaches, muscle tension
Heart
pounding, fast breathing
- More colds and flu
- Increased dependence on drugs, alcohol, or smoking
Take a look……
How fit are you at managing stress?
Think of a recent stressful situation, how did you react?
Answer: true or false
1. I ignored the fact that something was bothering me and tried to carry on as usual.
| False: An important first step is realizing the need for change. Try and identify the source of the stress. Denying stress can affect your health. |
2. I made a plan and followed it one step at a time.
| True: Change the things you can, setting priorities can help. Accept the things you cannot change. |
3. I used alcohol, smoking, food or other substance as a way
of relieving my stress.
| False: Alcohol and drugs may numb your stress and temporarily, you may feel better. However this behavior only leads to additional problems and harms both your physical and emotional health |
4. I kept thinking that I was helpless to deal with the problem.
| False: At times, stress can make you feel helpless. It is very important to get beyond the negative thoughts by taking action and do something to reduce stress. Ask for help from a friend, a counselor, family, or your doctor. |
5. Sometimes I just allowed myself to forget about the stress.
I tried to do something pleasant and relaxing.
| True: Taking a break from problems can be helpful and allow you time to regain your perspective and energy. . |
6. I looked for the humorous side of the situation.
| True: Stressful times can be opportunities for you to grow in your positive emotions and attitudes and learn to trust yourself. It can also be a time to reach out to people around you that are also suffering. |
7. I took out my anger and frustration on my friends
and family.
| False: When you are stressed you may be more irritable with the people closest to you. There are more positive ways of letting off the emotional and physical ‘steam’ stress creates. Try and avoid situations you know will cause you stress. Exercise, just going for a walk is a great way to reduce tension! |
8. I took time to remind myself of what is really important
in life. I tried to put the problem in context to my whole life. How bad
is it really?
| True: Sometimes it may be necessary to look at your life goals to see if this is still what you want. Change can often be a very positive thing. You can ask the question, “In five years how will this affect/change my life?” |
Breaking the Stress Cycle
Stress
is a person’s reaction to events. Our minds create stress –
we can choose to over-react, or we can choose to take things in stride.
It is about restoring the balance to our lives.
1. Change the situation
- Eliminate the unnecessary.
- Delegate responsibilities to someone else- don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- Relax your standards – let the grass grow for another week.
- Learn to manage your time – think about what is really important.
-
Improve
communication – if you don’t talk about your feelings things
can get bottled up inside, to the point where you can feel ill. Ask
for help, no one can do everything alone. - Know if you want to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ – if unsure, ask for more time.
- Be kind to yourself, allow some quiet time.
- Set priorities, and tell yourself it’s okay if you don’t finish everything.
2. Change your mind's reaction to stress
Negative thoughts, based on the idea that things are done to us, can control our moods. Actually, events happen, and your negative thoughts about these events may lead to negative emotion, resulting in feelings of helplessness, in-action, and depression.
Say
‘no’ to negative self-talk.
To turn your negative self-talk around:
- Think of an event that caused a stressful emotion.
- How did you feel, what did you say?
- Consider the facts. Is your thinking in line with what really happened?
- Substitute a more rational, positive thought for your original negative thought. “I can’t handle this” becomes “I know I can do it”.
Negative
Thought-Stopping
- As negative thoughts form, say ‘STOP'!
- Wear an elastic band around your wrist and snap it when you say STOP.
- Relax for 5-10 seconds and say RELAX. Think a pleasant thought.
- Say a positive phrase to yourself, “I’m doing great”. Repeat this twice.
Thought stopping takes practice but if you do it every time you are aware of a negative thought, it will become automatic. The negative thoughts that often paralyze us will stop and you will then be able to move forward with strength.
3. Change your body's reaction to stress
Mental stress leads to physical tension in your body. Break this cycle. By learning to relax your body and your mind, you will find it harder to be negative. Often we are unaware of how much tension our bodies hold by the end of a busy day. Try this technique to relax muscles. The magic 20-second Breathing Exercise you can do anywhere, anytime. It really works!!
We also need to take care of our bodies.
-Be kind to yourself-
|
Links
- Health Canada Mental Health Site
www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hppb/mentalhealth - Canadian Mental Health Association
www.cmha.ca - Mental Health British Columbia www.hlth.gov.bc.ca/mhd/index.html
- Aboriginal Peoples Health Network
www.canadian-health-network.ca/1aboriginal_peoples.html - Loretta La Roche, international consultant, lecturer, and author dealing with stress with a sense of humor www.stressed.com
Quesnel Tillicum Society Native Friendship Centre
319 North Fraser Drive, Quesnel, BC, Canada V2J 1Y9
Phone: (250) 992-8347
Fax: (250) 992-5708
info@quesnel-friendship.org
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